Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Kinda boring... but I feel the need to express this anyway.
I CAN'T WAIT for August.
Not because there's anything specific going on, but mostly because there will NO LONGER be anything specific going on, and I'll finally be able to enjoy summer. See, except for a few outings I felt massively guilty about at the back of my mind (though I needed the break), I've basically been spending all of my free time since April, working on a project for a local band. I knew about it in February, but because of school and other obligations, I wasn't able to fully start until April.
Honestly, it's a HUGE, graphic-novel type of project I agreed to do because it's fun, it'll be awesome for my portfolio and it's great experience. Once it's done, I will post some of it pending the band's permission. The deadline is now 2 weeks away, and quite honestly... I'm far from done. Anyway, here are a few things I have learned throughout the process.
1) I am an EXTREMELY slow worker. I am a perfectionist, and each page of this work I have done for this has cost me well over 25-30 hours of work each, minimum, in the beginning. And most of the time, I can only allot 2 hours max per week night, honestly, when they are available. I have sort of figured out a quicker process.. but letting go of details is extremely difficult for me, though now, it will become necessary.
2) Though I would say I have spent 75% of my free time on this honestly, I still could have given more, because now, I am really running in a panic. I procrastinated only a little, but it still managed to bite me in the ass. I can honestly say that I have worked VERY hard on this... but not like... ULTIMATELY hard, I guess.
3) I am DESPERATE to finish this. I want to prove my salt. I don't want to disappoint them, even though they said they'd be more than happy to release this project in chapters, as I will be at least half done. But as a matter of pride, and relating to the fact that I have seriously worked my ASS off for this project (hours of research, sketches and etc...) I want to finish it. I have not felt this sort of passion for a project in a while.
4) There are not enough hours in a day to work creatively, when you have a full-time job. These past couple of months have been very daunting and stressful with this project always at the back of my mind...in terms of situations where I'm literally deciding between "cook myself a meal, or use that valuable half hour to work". Most of the time, work wins out.
It's been a grueling process, and I will never tell them how much. The truth is, I'm doing this pro-bono, and they will pay me what they can, when they can. I know most people don't understand this, and they even get mad when I tell them. But it was a choice I nevertheless made without hesitation, in this case. I believe in these guys' music, and I know they work as hard at their craft as I do (I've seen them rehearse), even though they're still a bunch of kids who party as hard as they work. But I legitimately enjoy their music, and they work at it passionately. In some sense, they inspire me a lot... because this band, and all small local bands, really... have the balls to pursue their passion, whereas so far, I haven't. I've not been willing to commit to my craft full time, because I'm afraid of poverty. Afraid of the uncertainty. Afraid of failure. So yeah. I said yes, because it was an opportunity to prove to myself that I could take on a big project. So far, I'm disappointing myself, but I'm not done yet. I still have some fight left in me, and a digital pen in my hand. It's crunch time for the next couple of weeks.
And after that's done, there'll be the Anime convention to prepare. I've not done any new artpieces since last year. I have at least 4 images in mind... and though it's fun work, I doubt I'll be able to get it all done by August.
Fuck, I just can't wait to enjoy the summer, seriously.
And on a completely different note, here are some sinister images of Bruce. Enjoy.