Boss-scapades # 28736: Snooping-Fail
After my obligatory-yet-sincere Remembrance Day post, the regular office hijinks...
___________________________________________________________________________
Boss : Morning Liz.
Me: Morning.
Boss *glances malevolently*: What’s in the bag?
Me: …what?
Boss: Your bag. We’re screening bags now, you know. Searching them all.
Me: …Oh really. Screening bags, today specifically, in my office, right? How... fortuitous.
Boss: Yep! Gotta prevent the terrorists and the H1N1 and the drugs, Liz!!! *emphatic fist-palm punch*
Me: …You’re sure you really want to go there?
Boss: Definitely! The drugs Liz… not that I don’t trust you but you’re young, and well… these young people nowadays… there’s always drugs!!
Me*pause*…………………
Boss:*pause*……………
Me: Well, you’re welcome to it for your "security check". All you’re going to find is a variety of sports-bras, deodorant, razo--
Boss*blanched*: OH GOD!!! OH G-GOD!!!!! STOPPPPP!!!
Me: … are you suuuure you don’t want to look? I just might have drugs in there, right under my dirty socks and panti-.
Boss: Oh GOD!! OK STOP!!! I don’t want to KNOW about these things!! *fists in eyes, groaning* I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW!!!
Me: You said you did, though!
Boss: But I…you’re like my little sister!! It’s like realizing your little sister has grown up, and like… and like…. *groans, spinning on heels*
Me: ….*eyebrow raise* Well, as disturbing a metaphor that might be, that’s what happens to nosy, obnoxious big brothers, I guess. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
Boss: Arrrghhhhhhh….. *stumbles out, pawing at head*
Me *calling after him*: THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE, THANK GOD HE DIDN’T FIND THE DRUGS HIDDEN UNDER THE MAXI PADS!!
Boss*from down the hall*: YAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
______________________________________________________________
I actually think it's kind of cute that he thinks of me as a little sister. Even though he's completely macho and obnoxious most times, I've always sort of sensed a prevailing protective vibe from my boss, which I know is very strange, hahaha. But it's kind of funny... and assures I can get away with ANYTHING, BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *cough* I mean, how quaint.
PS: ... to clarify... there ARE NO security checks or bag screenings at my work lol. Not for staff anyway, hahaha. (mental institution humor ftw)